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What is the most fascinating thing about Pornography?

To answer this question I will share an example from my life, and how I was introduced to pornography, as well as sexuality; because what I’ve understood is that the lack of education in relation to sexuality in this world is very much a cause to the pornographic epidemic we experience today.

So, I grew up in a normal family. I had a normal father, and a normal mother. My childhood was in most aspects completely normal. I liked to play various sports, I liked to read fantasy books, I liked to be creative, I mean, I had my interests, and I had my life, and I was quite content.

Then something happened. Puberty happened. And now for me this signifies a vast shift in my experience of myself in this world, because suddenly a new world was opening itself up to me, and this new world was completely unknown to me. I started to have sexual experiences towards my opposite gender, I started to become emotionally unstable, and suddenly popularity became something very important. I could not anymore be satisfied with my own interests and hobbies, and my own little life as I used too, I know felt that I need some type of recognition by my peer group.

So, I entered early adulthood completely unprepared, and I had no idea what was happening to me. I mean, in school there was some education done in relation to sexuality, but this was in no way sufficient, and it wasn’t specific either. Most of it was about the practicalities of the sexual intercourse in itself, but I mean, a relationship, and having cool sex is so much more than only putting on a condom and finding the right hole, right? But apparently, according to the curriculum, after some hours of talking about sex we where now educated to go out into the world and experience sex.

In my family there was the same lack of explanation, and education as to what happens in puberty. I mean it’s fascinating – NOTHING was shared with me. I was just expected to discover it by myself and make my own conclusions. And obviously the primary point that occurs in puberty is the emergence of the sexual drive, and as this point developed within me, I had no support, no assistance, and no real education what so ever to be able to direct, and support myself in my life to express this emerging sexual drive in a supportive and effective manner.

My introduction to sexuality was thus extremely ineffective. In essence people told me that “you should have a relationship” and then between the lines somewhere it was expected that I should know that “then you have sex”. The effect of this in my peer group, and at my school was that sex became glorified, and was seen as the “ultimate point”. Everyone wanted to have sex, and be the first to have sex, and all the “cool” boys and girls, they had lots of sex and spoke about it all the time. I mean, it’s obvious that this would be the consequence; because when you make something a secret, a hush-hush taboo, children and youths will be drawn to it even more, and instead of them having a effective understanding as to how to express themselves within the point, they will simply go there and do it, and make their own conclusions, and fill in the blank spots with whatever they are able to make up. So, it’s obvious that the way we as adults have dealt with education in relation to sex have had major effects on our youth.

I was a late bloomer, and that meant I did not hit puberty for real until some years had passed since everyone else hit puberty. This meant that I had to face the humility of being a virgin. I mean apparently this was one of these extremely shameful things, because it was seemingly the most important thing you could do, to have lot’s of sex with lot’s of different people, and when you were a virgin, well you were simply a looser. So, I really hated the fact that I was a late bloomer, and I so desired to get into that puberty, and have sex, and be like everyone else, and be able to say to everyone that: “hey, look at me, I’ve had sex here – Yes! Me! Ha!”

Eventually I did hit puberty, and the time came for me to go and have sex. Now, this is where pornography came into the picture. Because as I’ve shared, I had no understanding of sex at all, and the only thing I knew was that I wanted to have sex, and preferably as soon as possible. Thus, my solution became masturbation, and soon I was introduced to porn. And I found that the combination of porn and masturbation felt good, and I was able to apparently release the sexual tension that I’d accumulated through looking at porn, and masturbating.

Obviously, the best for me at this stage would’ve been to get into a real relationship with a girl, an effective, stable, and mutually beneficial relationship. But due to having received no support on this point, I mean, I felt very uncomfortable to talk with girls, and I didn’t really understand how you did that whole “relationship thing”, so I secluded myself with masturbation and porn.

This goes to show that we as adults have a enormous responsibility towards our youths, because the skills we teach them, the way we show and explain the function of this world, that is how they will experience it. I mean, as a youngster what I could’ve used would’ve been some practical, and factual suggestions as to how to approach sex, how to approach women, what points are important to think about – exactly how to have pleasurable sex? But I had none of this, and thus my solution became pornography and masturbation.

What was the consequence for me using pornography and masturbation?

There is one word to explain it, and it’s… isolation. Yes, because when I started to become more, and more locked into the porn-world, I became more and more shy with real women, I became less and less confident with communication, and speaking, and I became more, and more awkward with the point of in-fact having sex. Thus, all that I did with pornography was build up a fantasy world in relation to sex, thinking that “this is how real sex is” – when what really happened was that I isolated, and removed myself from the real physical world, and got more, and more into a dream state, a sexually possessed state of looking at females as pictures, as walking pornographic images, instead of beings with value, and worth.

Thus, the most prominent consequence of me going into the direction of porn and masturbation was that I couldn’t create effective relationships. I did eventually manage to have sex for real, and I did manage to have some type of relationship. But they were never fulfilling, never intimate, never unconditional, and within them I was always reserved, and fearful – because I did not have the basic skills of how to walk the point of sex, and relationships effectively and in such a way that magnificence is birthed, but all I had was these dysfunctional assumptions, and fantasies that I’d scraped together through my life, and those I used to direct and navigate myself in relationships.

Sex and relationships is as such one of those points in this world, that everyone simply believe that they should work, and that they must be simple and natural and just come to one intuitively, but the reality is that there is no education in this world that prepares people for an effective sexual life, or a effective relationship. We all grow up blind folded and are thrown out into the world with some information that often tends to be completely useless in allowing ourselves to make something great of our life’s.

So, what is then the most fascinating thing about pornography?

It’s quite obvious, isn’t it?

The fascinating thing is that it’s hidden, and veiled – nobody talks about – no father, or mother intimately sits down and shares what pornography, sex, fucking, and relationships – REALLY – is all about; but still it’s EVERYWHERE. It’s in our movies, it’s in our magazines, it’s in our books, it’s in our minds, it’s in our ads, it’s in our cars, it’s in our clothes; SEX is EVERYWHERE – yet it’s the biggest secret that have ever exist.

Have you noticed? Sex is mostly done in secret. And if parents have children, and they want to have sex, they will mostly do it silently, and when it’s dark, so that it’s not seen, and it’s not heard, but still – it’s there.

I mean, this is one of the reasons as to why we have such a big problem with pornography today, it’s one big secret, and there is no effective education taking place to make sure that children receive effective skills to create, and have effective relationships, with effective sex, so that they don’t need to resort to porn, or masturbation; because with effective education they would know themselves, understand themselves, know what is real sex, and how to walk the point, and as such they wouldn’t be manipulated and controlled by pictures.

Thus, if we want to stop pornography – one of our primary points of focus must be to give our youths a proper and effective education in all areas of life, wherein sex and relationships is one of them.

Support is available for you to stop, it’s FREE and given by those that walked out of this addiction before you at Desteni Forums. Join now, switch off the porn for Life, for Good, to build a world we can truly be proud of. Investigate the DIP Lite course – it is a FREE online course where you can assist and support yourself to stop porn addiction.