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I want to share with you how I stopped my addiction. Now this addiction wasn’t to porn, but it really doesn’t matter, because as you will see, what I will be describing could just as well have been an addiction to porn. Because the principles that I will share with you are also key principles in stopping porn addiction. Now I want you to know that I had my addiction for over 15 years. It was a daily addiction and it was ruining my life. It was all I could think about. I tried stopping ‘cold turkey’ a billion times, only causing me to relapse even worse. I felt like a social pariah in society. I had trouble connecting with other people, with going to work, with having a relationship because the addiction had a total and complete hold on me. So I could see that I had to do something completely different if I were to stop my addiction.

So – the first thing I did was that I decided to stop feeling guilty, to stop feeling bad about my addiction. I had to accept that it was what it was. I realized that I had to stop trying to fight it because it never worked. No matter what I tried, the addiction had a hold on me. So I decided to stop feeling bad about it. I knew now that I was going to stop, but I deliberately did not set a date to not create further pressure on myself, again because I had already tried that before and it didn’t work. You know, I had so many times set a date a week or a month into the future, but eventually I realized how I was just postponing the point of stopping and I felt so pressured to stop that I just kept moving the date forward. So this time I simply decided that I was going to stop without setting a date.

Then what I did was that I gave myself permission to continue with the addiction. And then I began a journal documenting my addiction. Now so if you’re a porn addict that would mean to, every time you watch porn or masturbate to fantasies, to note it down. So you get a small note book and note down how you experience yourself and what thoughts come up before, during and after you’ve watched porn or masturbated to fantasies. You also note down the date and time. I continued with this for around six weeks. And my addiction was something I did several times a day, so you can imagine how many notes I wrote in those six weeks. This method was something that had been suggested to me by an addiction counselor and initially I felt very annoyed by it. I didn’t want to do it. But I did it anyway, every day noting down how the pattern of my addiction unfolded. After a while my relationship to the addiction started changing. Because first of all, I had stopped all the guilt tripping and that meant that a lot of emotions and feelings that I was otherwise pouring into my addiction was gone, which meant that I could see things more clearly. And then, without realizing what the purpose was, the journal assisted me to see exactly how my addiction functioned and operated – I could for example see that there were specific trigger points, specific thoughts that always came before, during and after. I could also see how I was most excited before and then felt more and more shitty. As such I started writing down for myself all the excuses and justifications I could see that I had used for my addiction. Because I wanted to be sure that I left no backdoors open when I stopped, no dead-angles. And as I did, I got to know my addiction and myself better and better. I also started understanding why I had created the addiction in the first place, why it was I believed that I needed this ‘drug’ to sustain a normal life, when I was barely doing a good job at that.

The last thing I did, and if I were again to use a porn addiction reference, it would be the same as you ‘over-dosing’ on porn. Now – this obviously won’t work for all addictions because it can be life threatening and I also didn’t do it as deliberately as I’m writing out here – so do proceed with caution on your own recognizance if you so choose. But it would basically be the equivalent of a porn addict watching 3, 4, 5 porn movies a day, really amping it up, maybe even masturbating 10 times if you’re a serious addict.  Something else I did was also I went to places where people with my addiction would be, people with an even worse addiction than mine. I did this because I had given myself permission to not stop my addiction while I was in the process of stopping. So from the addictions perspective this was ‘all men on deck’. And what actually happened was that I in the end felt sick and tired of my addiction. There was no longer that tension that had existed because of my conflicted relationship towards my addiction, where I felt like I was being naughty and where I had created a split inside myself. No, now the addiction was brought into the daylight, at least to myself and it made it much less appealing. Also seeing people who had been addicts longer than me and how bad they were caught in the addiction also assisted me to make the decision to finally stop.

So one day – I simply stopped. And it was really as simple as that. Because I had prepared myself very well in absolute detail and specificity, I understood the addiction; I knew all my excuses and justifications. I no longer had a fight within me over feeling guilt and desire. There was nowhere left to run because I had removed all the possible backdoors for myself. And so now there was only one way to go and that was through the exit out of my addiction. I actually never looked back. I fell and had a couple of relapses over the next six months, but these times it was completely different. It was like all the magic of my ‘drug of choice’ had disappeared and all I felt was the real physical consequences.

What I see that I did, because this whole process certainly wasn’t planned in every detail, was that I got to know myself. I became an expert on my own addiction and thus on myself within it. I left nothing hidden from myself in the dark. And most importantly, I removed the need to keep it secret; the need to split myself into a ‘day’ and ‘night time’ personality, so that I could really look myself in self-honesty and investigate my addiction while it was still in action.

Now – I’m not saying that exactly what I’ve done will work for you or that it won’t. But can be the harm in trying it? What have we got to lose as addicts? Nothing but our addiction?

If you do decide to try this out or modify it in a way that works for you or if you have some other tips for stopping Porn Addiction, let us know!

For those interested in using the method I’ve described here, I suggest checking out the DIP Lite course. It’s a FREE online course where you’ll learn how to use writing to for example free yourself from an addiction as well as getting to know the ins and outs of your own mind, so that you will be able to direct yourself clearly without hidden agendas and self-dishonesty. It’s a DIY course but you’ll be supported by a buddy. So it’s completely annonymous as only your buddy will see your writings.

There is also support available through the Desteni I Process, the Desteni forum and most specifically I recommend listening to the interviews on Eqafe about sex, porn and masturbation. Because these take what I’ve mentioned here into extensive detail, explaining the exact processes that is involved with developing such addictions. Check out the weekly schedule Google hangouts on Porn here here.

Porn Addicts Journey to Life is written by a Group of people who have all walked through Addiction to Porn, Sex and Masturbation through the tools shared by Desteni. We share our perspectives and experiences with Porn to Support those who are ready to take the next step to Stop the Addiction to Porn.

Who we are doesn’t matter because we’re the same as you. We write anonymously because of where the world is at today in relation to porn and because of the understanding and the persecution that follow porn addicts. We write anonymously so that we can share the unfiltered truth about life as a porn addict, so that it may assist and support those who are still trapped in the addiction to porn.