Tags

, , , , , , , ,

I suggest reading the two previous blogs on porn before continuing:

Letting Go of My Porn Addiction – Pt. 2 – DAY 24

Letting Go of My Porn Addiction – Pt. 1 – DAY 23

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consume pornography, even though I am well aware of the abuses that are a direct consequence and manifestation of this pornography

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consume pornography, even though I am well aware that I support a sadistic and misogynist culture in which the woman is merely an object of men’s desires

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to invoke my “free will” and use “all is well entitled to fantasize about what they want” to justify my porn consumption, without asking myself where my “free will” was when I was indoctrinated from childhood with sexism in the media and pornography – and without seeing and understanding that the young women who participate in pornography would not participate in it if it wasn’t for the need to make money to survive and are thus not participating from a position of “free will”

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to ask myself where my own “free will” was when I was exposed to the normalization of the sexism in TV-shows and movies, where my “free will” was when I was exposed to hardcore rape themed porn as a young boy, and where my “free will” was within my parents permissive and allowing stand as “boys will be boys” and “it’s normal” when it came to porn

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to excuse and justify my consumption of “free” internet pornography with that I at least aren’t nourishing the porn industry with money, without realizing that a big part of the revenues of internet pornography, which globally reaches about 5 billion dollars annually, comes from advertising revenues (Internet Pornography Stats)

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that I also support another person’s pornography addiction when I download pornography that this individual is sharing through so-called p2p programs or torrents, and that I within doing so is 1 vote for pornography and, in fact, say “it’s OK with pornography, just continue”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spread pornography online, thus doing the opposite of the principle of ‘do unto others as you want others to do unto you’, in that I now wish I had never been exposed to pornographic images / movies at a young age because I see the harm it has done unto me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support an industry in which the average life of the actors is around 37 years, as a result of drugs, alcohol, suicide, murder, and sexually transmitted diseases such as HIV / AIDS (The Average Life Expectancy of a Porn Star)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support the porn industry despite the fact that pornography is increasingly normalizing rape, sadism and torture, and further reinforce the secret and suppressed fantasies and emotions that have already been allowed to germinate in an environment where sex is seen as something “forbidden” and “dirty”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define sex and sexuality as something “wrong”, “forbidden”, “disgraceful” and “dirty”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide myself from my own shame of myself / my physical body and my fear of experiencing humiliation if others were to see my naked body, by looking at pictures / pornography where I see others being humiliated and exposed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that with the suppression of my fear of exposure and humiliation, look at and seek pictures / pornography where others are subjected to humiliation, to not have to face my own fears

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give away my power to shame – and in doing so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that by exposing someone else to humiliation / shame, I will somehow get back my lost power – therefore I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define humiliation of someone else as “power”

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see that the reason I was afraid to give up my addiction is that I would have to face myself / see who I have come to be

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid to face / see that that which I have accepted and allowed to exist within me

For further points on nakedness and shame read: Day 26 – Hell-th day

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support the porn industry despite the fact that virtually all sexual sadists, rapists and serial killers with sexual motives, since a young age have been large consumers of pornography and of which many of them mentioned pornography as the starting point in their fantasies / abuse (Ted Bundy Final Interview), and since we are not taught any tools to stop ourselves from manifesting fantasies and act them out on the physical reality it often results in gruesome consequences

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consume pornography, despite the recent year’s reports of children as young as 10 years raping other children and reporting that they wanted to be like the adult role models in the porn films they had seen

Read the following reports:

Online porn drove boy of 12 to rape girl, 9: He wanted to ‘feel grown up’ after viewing explicit images

Children as young as 11 are performing sex acts on rows of boys as online porn turns children into sex attackers

Internet porn and the rape suspects aged TEN

Judge blames 15-year-old boy’s internet porn obsession for his rape of girl, 14, in a ‘heinous’ attack

Babysitting teen, 14, who raped girl, 5, spared custody as judge says he was corrupted by internet porn

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore these consequences and backgrounds of suffering and abuse, and instead selfishly chosen to focus on and prioritize my personal and short-term “enjoyment”

I commit myself to take a decision based in the principle of what is best for all, to stop and ban porn from my life based on the daily atrocities that are a consequence of and powered by the porn industry

I commit myself to show and expose the hidden abuse within the porn industry, as well as the dire consequences resulting from it, whenever someone is defending pornography

I commit myself to do everything I can to implement a system that meets the physical needs of all earthlings, and therefore will put an end to greed and survival-based fears, to create beings with actual free will that act in the interest of the whole/life (See Living Income Guaranteed)

For further porn debunking see the following playlist:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL23C1917564FAECDD

Porn Addicts Journey to Life is written by a Group of people who have all walked through Addiction to Porn, Sex and Masturbation through the tools shared by Desteni. We share our perspectives and experiences with Porn to Support those who are ready to take the next step to Stop the Addiction to Porn.

Who we are doesn’t matter because we’re the same as you. We write anonymously because of where the world is at today in relation to porn and because of the understanding and the persecution that follow porn addicts. We write anonymously so that we can share the unfiltered truth about life as a porn addict, so that it may assist and support those who are still trapped in the addiction to porn.