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While I was stopping masturbation to porn I found that a common fear of mine was `how do I masturbate without porn?` `How do I stimulate that belief and attraction without images or without words or without something external from myself?` What I was saying within this statement was that I was so disconnected from my body that I could not be here with myself and masturbate here with myself in a point of self expression. I was saying that I needed an external stimulus or either porn, ideas, images, or thoughts to stimulate the desire to masturbate. Never did I question what was going on in this statement; I held it as a belief so that I could justify and excuse myself to accept myself to masturbate to porn or accept ideas related to sex, or accept myself to look at memories of images in the mind so that I could stimulate myself to masturbate with energy. So again, I thought and believed that I needed porn or images or ideas to stimulate myself enough so that I could masturbateThat belief that I had is an absolute separation from the body. When you take a look at masturbation without the mind all that is here is self in the body masturbating. Thus within the physical action of/as masturbating all that you need is self here with the body. When you add the mind to the equation, what then exists is an emotional fuel source for the mind and an energetic fuel source for the mind to revel in the movements of emotions, energy, desire and from this compound the programmed ideas beliefs of what will stimulate self to be able to masturbate. So what I was saying within the statement that I cannot masturbate without images or porn is that I want and desire the energy within the emotions and reactions and lust within viewing images and I wanted to, you know, create fantasies within the mind about how I would be within that position when/as viewing porn which again is not an equal alignment here with the body.

When I first attempted to masturbate without porn, I couldn’t do it. I could not get it up because I had programmed the body and mind to use the ideas/images of porn or within thoughts to stimulate the body to arousal and therefore I was quite disconnected from the body. From this I became frustrated because I wanted to masturbate at that moment but I obviously couldn’t. I then used that belief that I needed porn to continue looking at porn instead of investigating why it was that I could not be here with the body and express myself within self honest masturbation – self honesty meaning I know my starting point is to express myself and not to support the ideas, images, beliefs of what I held as attractive or sexually arousing. I mean since masturbating from about age 12 or so, the body became programmed to need that form of sexual arousal because I rarely, if ever, masturbated solely with myself here in the body. And since there was the use of porn the ideas that stimulated the arousal started to become more specific, so specific to the point that only that image/idea would arouse me which meant no sex life because sex within the physical reality does not coincide with the ideas and images that I would use to stimulate myself and programmed the body/mind to respond to.

With many males who are facing the same process, one of understanding the body and getting back in touch with the body through exploration of real self expression within masturbation/sex, it will certainly take time to understand how the body is going to function in these cases because all that we’ve ever told the body is that we have no use for the real self expression within sex/masturbation because we have primarily used the ideas/images/porn to masturbate to = saying “I have porn and I will use that to generate arousal instead of listening to the body and how it in fact becomes aroused.” So from the body’s perspective it isn’t being used to stimulate itself nor is it being explored within self honesty; it realizes that the mind is `taking over` the point of sexual attraction via using emotions and feelings so to speak, so it doesn’t move when/as physical arousal is here because self within the body never explored that point.

There are preventative measures that one can take, as well as corrective. The preventative measures relies on the parents teaching children exactly what porn is, like sitting down with them and showing them porn, showing them what is really going on behind the scenes and showing that most of the scenes/movies are all staged and acted out and how real physical sex does not relate to what is being shown in porn. From there it is to let the child decide for themselves, no judgement, no morality, no reactions, simply showing them the consequences of their actions if one chooses to continue to participate with viewing porn. The corrective measures are firstly stopping participation in porn, the second is to start to investigate how the body responds to movement on itself and the then explore the body and sexual expression from the starting point of no images, no desires, no thoughts, no porn, no ideas, and simply move from an absolute clear starting point. It most likely won’t be easy at first, lots of frustration came up within me, but the key is to move through that frustration and to remain committed to ones principles of stopping porn and living what is best for self in relation to sex/masturbation/sexuality

In the next post I will write self forgiveness statements on the above mentioned

Porn Addicts Journey to Life is written by a Group of people who have all walked through Addiction to Porn, Sex and Masturbation through the tools shared by Desteni. We share our perspectives and experiences with Porn to Support those who are ready to take the next step to Stop the Addiction to Porn.

Who we are doesn’t matter because we’re the same as you. We write anonymously because of where the world is at today in relation to porn and because of the understanding and the persecution that follow porn addicts. We write anonymously so that we can share the unfiltered truth about life as a porn addict, so that it may assist and support those who are still trapped in the addiction to porn.

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